Managing Change

change“Change is the only constant.” Proverb

Your ego really likes it the way it is. It’s biggest “want” is to protect you from change. Reverse psychology is where we “want” one thing, but do another. In other words, our struggling consciousness is trying to make change and so easily pacifies the weak minded with dogma.

It is like having your battery put in backwards. (I used to ignore my stress issues which led to stomach issues and an autoimmune disorder). When you move towards what you do “want,” your ego wants you to move away from what you actually “want.” I was unconscious to address my stress-related gut issues. What choices did I really have without useful tools to get past the ego? What happens when you do have a diagnosis and things stay the same? We resort to the easy fix of temporarily pacifying our thoughts by popping a pill to make our headache go away, eat something filled with sugar to raise our serotonin levels (feel good brain neurons), or ignore the feelings by going onto something our ego will happily resort to by doing something “safe.”

Now, if I was conscious and stressed, then I would be making a choice. After I relieved my stress, I decided to not let my ignorance get me there again. So I transformed my health with reprogramming my heart issues (present) and nutritional choices, so it would not happen again. I want this for you too. I may travel in that direction occasionally, but I will bring myself back as soon as I notice it and where I choose to stop it. Taking those small steps towards affecting change in your thought patterns can take a short time. Or, by peeling away layers of the unconscious patterns may involve resolving past memories of why you resist changing your behaviors.

The problem with our ego is that it is made up ONLY of past experiences and we are allowing it to use our past to create our present and our future. Do we already know not to dwell on the way it was? It is simply just how it was. Getting inside of your head, listen to your ego and ask yourself, “Why can’t I have (your desire)?” Listen to your ego’s answers and see if there is resistance to go forward towards your desires. Remember you need to have a “green” light with your ego to make positive changes in your life.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

There Is No Substitute For Hard Work

hard workI’ve met a fair number of successful, self-made people in my life. They all work in different industries, and came from different backgrounds and walks of life. The one thing they all have in common? They all work hard. And they all work a LOT.

In my opinion success has always been about doing work. The old ‘right place, right time’ is what jealous people say about successful people – I know this because I’m guilty of using this excuse in the past.

Yes, many successful people did catch an awesome ‘once in a life time’ break at one point in their lives, but when that opportunity came about, they were ready, because they were working, and once they said ‘yes’ to that opportunity, they worked even harder.

The same goes for the people I know who have built incredible bodies.

They used different workout routines and different diets, but each and every one of them were ‘nose-to-the-grindstone, get-it-done’ kind of people. Yes, some had great genetics to start, some used steroids, but all of them, ALL of them did work, And lots of it.

Despite what the latest ‘make money quick’, or ‘get jacked’ fads may promise, there is simply no substitute for hard work. And this is where I would like to draw the analogy between business success and building muscle. It is similar to the analogy between body fat and debt.

Basically, the same principles that create successful entrepreneurs also create people who are successful at changing their bodies.

The first Principle – Successful people do work.

Successful people work hard. Yes, we can argue quality over quantity, and doing the ‘right type’ of work, but all things being equal, more work is generally better than less. And yes, I know the trend right now in business and weight training is to talk about doing less work, but let’s face it – it takes a lot of hard work to get to the point where you can preach to people about doing less work.

The true visionaries, people like Elon Musk and Richard Branson – they are committed to consistently out-working their competitors. They do more work, more of the ‘right kind of work’ and more ‘quality work’. They do more everything. But they also try and do ‘less’ work. The trick is that they have a very unique way of doing ‘less work’ – I would say they redefine what ‘work’ means.

You have to make work fun, if you can do that it’s ceases to fell like work, it just becomes what you do, simply because you feel fulfilled and satisfied doing it. Most successful people don’t work for an hour then take 4 days off. They don’t work a little bit. They never stop working, because they enjoy it.

But, it’s not work to them in the classic sense since they are doing something they love, and they are careful to also enjoy life. As much as you may hate to hear it, the same goes for building a great body. It takes a commitment to doing work and a lot of it. You’ll always see marketing claims about the people who supposedly built great bodies on 20 minutes of exercise once a week, because quick results with minimal work will always be an attractive sales pitch. but as a general rule, great bodies take work. So to be able to consistently do a lot of work, it must be something you love doing.

Which brings me to the Second Principle – You must love what you do if you’re going to be successful

Stop looking at what other people are doing. Stop cheating off someone else’s paper and write your own paper.

If you’re going to commit to doing a lot of work, it has to be something you love. I have a friend who makes a living owning a fight-wear company, and another who makes a living as a trader. They’re both successful because they’re working hard at something they love to do. I doubt they’d have the same success if they switched jobs. The same principle works for building your body.

If you love lifting weights then lift weights. If you love Kettlebells then swing your bells. If you love Crossfit then do Crossfit, who cares what other people are doing, or what they think of what you are doing… Other people aren’t creating your success, you are.

It has to be enjoyable for you, if it’s a chore, you’re not going to do it, or at least you’re not going to do it as well as you could. So find the workout that is right for you right now, then work hard, push yourself and enjoy it.

Principle Three – Know how you are doing (Feedback and metrics)

What is your end goal? You need to know this. Is it to make money, or to have as many twitter followers as possible? If your goal is to make money, then you should measure your success by how much money you are making, if it’s something else, then measure success based on whatever it is you truly want, but to be successful you MUST HAVE SOME MEASURE OF SUCCESS.

The same goes for workouts. Is your goal to have a great body? If so then measure your workout success based on your measurements. If your goal is to be strong then measure your workouts based on how strong you are getting… but measure something, and most importantly make sure what you are measuring is a good indicator of whether or not you are moving towards your true goal.

Successful people do a lot of work, but they do it with direction. After all, if you don’t have direction then how do you know whether or not you are progressing? Work is only valuable if it comes with some sort of feedback.

You can sum up these three principles as “Do work, make sure you love what you do and don’t forget to measure your progress.” There are lots of other principles you could add to this statement, ideas like being a self-motivator, dreaming big and taking pride in your work, but for the most part, these all come after you commit to doing work.

There is no substitute for hard work. It’s the secret ingredient to most people’s success – and it’s what will help you in business, building a better body and in life. Don’t be afraid to do work.

Finally, remember – anything worth doing is worth doing well.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How Does Transformational Coaching (TCM) Differ From Traditional Therapy

coaching about futureTraditional therapy is about working with a patient and Transformational Life Coaching is about working with a client. While traditional therapy asks the question why, TCM asks the question HOW, WHAT AND WHAT IF.

Why questions gets reasons, not results and content rather than process. While in therapy, the therapist works with a person’s PAST and traumatic events therein, and seeks healing of those events. Therapists also diagnose mental ILLNESSES and attempts to deal with identifiable conditions. With the Doctor-Patient relationship where the DOCTOR has the solution and the conversation encourages the patient to TALK about things to resolve old pain and symptoms to get rid of them by fixing the patient by fixing the past. Therapists rely on studies and manuals to DIAGNOSE pathology. The progress is often SLOW where the therapist WON’T TALK about him/herself during the session where then there is a diagnosis and then PRESCRIBES a path to healing.

On the other hand, Transformational Coaching is interested in a person’s PRESENT and works to help them in creating a compelling FUTURE. There is an assumption that the client is HEALTHY (not broken) and presupposes that people work perfectly to produce the results they are getting, even if the results are not desirable. If a person does not like the results they are getting, TCM provides tools to help them get the results they desire. This partnership of equals where the coach encourages the client to find his/her OWN solutions already on their map (but perhaps unnoticed).

Assisting the client to discover the PROCESS by which s/he prevents the achievement of goals and objects and learn new ways of thinking. Whereas traditional therapy focuses on fixing the past, TCM coaching teaches that understanding the past as a framework for the present and creating the FUTURE. Coaching this way is a model of LEARNING and potentially which focuses on the future and its achievable goals and outcomes. When appropriate, the coach SHARES her experience which is vital to learning and changes are FAST and FUN. TCM Coaching aligns mentally with the client and they CO-CREATE the solution. The client is responsible for the outcomes and always has control over his/her results.

Please go to www.learnconquersoarcoaching.com to sign up for more blogs and newsletters. If you would like to sign up for a free, initial consultation, please email me at debbie@learnconquersoarcoaching.com or call me at 925-673-8527.

Image courtesy of zirconicusso / FreeDigitalPhotos.net